Hair loss Treatment Center

PARTICIPANTS Patricia Quinn, MD

A typical schoolday can put stress on any child. But for a child with ADHD, the academic and social demands of school can be too much to bear alone. How can parents help? And how do you know when to help?

Joining me to answer these questions is Dr. Patricia Quinn, a developmental pediatrician specializing in ADHD. Thank you, Dr. Quinn.

How does having ADHD affect a child's ability to do schoolwork?

PATRICIA QUINN, MD: Children with ADHD have trouble paying attention. They have difficulty with completing assignments, and they frequently get distracted by other things going on in the classroom. So they're main difficulty really centers around starting their work, getting their work finished. And some children also have trouble with their behaviors or relationships with both the teachers and other children in the classroom. All of these combined create difficulties for them in the classroom.

ANQOINETTE CROSBY: So, what are the first steps parents should take if they think their child with ADHD is struggling in school?

PATRICIA QUINN, MD: I think the most important thing for a child with ADHD -- because of their internal disorganization -- is to have an orderly, organized home, that they follow a routine. And I think parents can be of importance here in setting up routines at home. Routines for doing homework in the evening. Getting out of the house in the morning and remembering everything that you need to bring.

So the parent and child can work together either with a therapist or with the teacher on setting up some of these assignments. There are school psychologists available, or private counselors, who can help them set up some of these routines in the home.

Setting up a routine for taking medication in the morning is important. What we'd like to do is have schedules that are written out for these children, and then allow them to check off as they do each one of these tasks in the morning. So it organizes them and -- brushing your teeth, taking medication, checking your backpack would all be part of that. The child would then check off each one. And have a list of what they need to do, instead of always running around in the morning, disorganized and/or late, or not being able to find something, because they don't have this list.

It's very important to set up these structures and supports at home, and the parents are really the ones that need to help the kids to do this. And then follow through. If a parent is struggling with organization, they need to get help in that area. Or if the parent has ADHD as well, they need to get help for their own ADHD.

But these are very important. The orderliness, the organization, the structure and setting up routines at home will help a child perform better. And, you know, a lot of these kids-- their tone for the day is set by the frustration and disorganization even before they leave their house in the morning. And if we can eliminate that, they'll be starting their day on a much better note than the disorganization that usually happens at home getting out in the morning.

ANQOINETTE CROSBY: And what can parents do to help their children with social difficulties?

PATRICIA QUINN, MD: Parents can help kids with their social skills in many ways. One of the ways that I've found to be most effective is role-playing. If a child's having difficulty joining in a group or if they're having difficulty socially, relating to the other kids. If the parent can role-play some of that and give the child actually a script.

Telling a child that using the other child's name makes them more likable. Or asking about the other child instead of talking about themselves. Saying, "What is your favorite color?" or "What's your favorite TV show?" So if you start role-playing and writing scripts and showing the child how they can do that, that's useful.

ANQOINETTE CROSBY: We know that children are often rebellious, so if you find that they are not being receptive to your efforts, then what do you do?

PATRICIA QUINN, MD: That's a great question, because it is extremely difficult to raise kids in general, but kids with ADHD can be even more trying.

We have several suggestions for that. If you need help in parenting technique, certainly get it. If you're having difficulty with knowing how to handle a situation, there are lots of experts and books out there that you can read to give you some help in those areas.

But I think, again, taking breaks for yourself. Taking care of yourself as a parent of these children is very important. You need to get support for yourself. You need to avoid burnout. You need to get your spouse or partner or someone else to relieve you sometimes. Having these kids go to a special camp for kids with ADHD, or spend some time at a grandparent will give you a break.

But in order for you to be able to deal with these issues in a calm, supportive way, you need to frequently get help for yourself and support for yourself. And I highly encourage every parent who needs to do that to look for areas within the community or within their circle for ways to get themselves some support.

ANQOINETTE CROSBY: So it is okay to admit that, some days, you're not handling it well.

PATRICIA QUINN, MD: Absolutely. Also, when we make mistakes, to apologize. You know, frequently these kids do elicit either yelling or angry responses. And we're all very often sorry for things we've said or done with our children. And I think as a parent, again, one of the most important things is to be consistent, but also to acknowledge when you make mistakes. And -- by setting up -- "No one's perfect and I did not react appropriate, but here's a way that I can handle it. I can apologize and I can then work differently or work harder to not make that mistake again."

We're teaching and, again, modeling for our kids ways to handle when we make mistakes. And I think that's an important point as well.

ANQOINETTE CROSBY: You've given us some very useful information, but if you had one message to give to parents about helping their children with ADHD, what would it be?

PATRICIA QUINN, MD: I think it's really helping your child-- being a support for your child. Believing in your child. Kids with ADHD have so much difficulty and they're really fighting so many battles out there when they leave the home.

If a parent can believe in their child and convey that to their child, that there is a life after school. That this is not the most important thing that's going to happen. Being a good person and working hard and having those values-- doing the best you can do, even if that means you may fail a test in history in fifth grade.

We find that the kids with ADHD or the adults with ADHD that are most successful are the ones that can believe in themselves and understand that with hard work and getting the help you need, you can be successful despite your ADHD. And if a parent can convey that by loving their child, by believing in them, and by supporting them, that's their most important role and their most important job.